Overcoming "Murphy's Law"
Every now and then a day comes along when it feels like “Murphy’s Law” is working overtime. I had one of those days recently - it went like this:
It was a Monday morning mediation in Naples, with 6 participants traveling from out of town, plus me. I had booked neutral space to host the mediation, and made the drive from Orlando to Naples the afternoon before. This way, I could ensure I knew exactly how to get there, and minimize any risk of commute delays. So far so good…
The next morning, I received a call from the Plaintiff attorney’s office; he was having car trouble and would be at least 30 minutes late. Well that was unfortunate, but I figured it wouldn’t be too big of a problem for the other participants. They would understand.
As planned, I arrived 30 minutes early, allowing plenty of time to prepare and get organized. Upon my arrival, I was greeted by a lovely woman who informed me the 3 conference rooms I had reserved for the day needed to be vacated by 1:00. Now this was not good news, as mediation would not commence until 10:30, at best, and we had complex liability and damages issues to resolve. I held an impromptu brainstorming session with the lovely woman, and 15 minutes later, my three conference rooms were secured and readied for use – I was “back in business”! This was a second unexpected hurdle, but all was well.
Now it was time for me to sign the conference room rental agreement. No problem, except it reflected a price of 3 times the agreed upon fee! I started wondering what was up – this event seemed to be getting progressively worse. Nonetheless, I knew I had to work through this issue if I was going to mediate this case, so I greeted the alarming news calmly and started renegotiating. It didn’t take long to reach a new agreeable contract amount; I signed, and successfully jumped hurdle number three.
It was now 15 minutes past start time; I was missing 4 of the 6 participants; and arguably the most important participant would not be present. My next move was to call defense attorney #2, and inquire as to his arrival status. Wouldn’t you know it? There was an entry error on his calendar, and he would be an hour late. Really? This is unbelievable,
At this point, there was a serious conflict going on in my own head, never mind the case that needed mediation. One voice was screaming “Call it a day! Clearly this was not meant to be!”; while the other said “Hang in there, stay positive. This can be salvaged and be beneficial for all the participants.” Fortunately, the latter won out: The co-defendant and plaintiff’s counsel did eventually arrive; both defendants agreed to virtual participation by the plaintiff; and we did finally reach her by phone. Mediation commenced – albeit 1.5 hours late.
I am happy to report the cases were completely resolved that afternoon – despite the plethora of obstacles. And… everyone returned home safely, with no drama.
Admittedly, this day tested my patience, my perseverance, and my skills as a mediator. However, I overcame “Murphy’s Law” by remembering the following:
my control. They could negatively impact the situation(s), or positively influence them - it was my choice. I chose to remain calm, collected, and kind. After-all, my actions would likely determine the clients‘ lasting impression of me.
2. A little bit of space between stimulus and response is a good thing. So, I gave myself that space – in the form of a few deep breaths, in the “privacy” of the hallway. This moment of “breathing room” allowed me to remember the day had not fallen apart. In fact, it was only just beginning, and everything would be fine – whether the mediation proceeded or not.
3. Numbers 1 & 2 gave me the clarity to remain objective, and seek viable solutions. Just as the Deepak Chopra quote suggests, I sought the opportunities within the problems, and sure enough, the problems dissolved.
All-in-all, it truly was a terrific day!
Impressive the cases got settled. Your thoughts on overcoming Murphy's Law are great - it must take years of practice to actually focus on them in the heat of the moment...
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