I'm on Your Side

I am on your side.  Seriously, I am.  I know, I know, mediators are to be completely neutral, unbiased, and unattached to the outcome.  So, how can I possibly be on YOUR side?  Doesn't that put me in direct violation of the ethical requirements for a Florida Supreme Court Certified Circuit Civil mediator? Absolutely not, and I'll tell you why:  I'm on "their" side too.  What?? That sounds a little two-faced, maybe even deceptive, doesn't it?  Nope.  Actually it is just the opposite, and it completely supports my role as a neutral, unbiased third party presiding as the mediator for your case.

Confused? Please allow me to explain.  Being "on your side" has nothing to do with my feelings or beliefs regarding you or your case. However, it has everything to do with you achieving a mediation outcome that you know is aligned with, and supports, your interests and goals. 

 

As your mediator, being "on your side" means taking a genuine interest in your case, and ensuring I understand the information and facts as they are presented. It also means truly listening to you, and paying close enough attention to your words and body language to discern what is important to you, and why.  It means recognizing your style of communication, too.  Does your quiet and serious demeanor indicate an "all business - stick to the facts" preference, or is there more to your story that a few clarifying questions might shed light on?  Or perhaps I have not yet gained your confidence or trust, resulting in your reluctance to openly communicate?  In reality, it could mean any number of completely different things - maybe you just have a headache and need some Tylenol.  My point here is, being "on your side" includes doing my best to obtain a quick and accurate assessment of you and the information related to your case, and respond appropriately.  More often than not, a bit of keen observation, combined with one or two quick questions, solves the immediate mystery, and we can enter into an effective communication mode.  

As we move through the process of mediation, it is my intention to demonstrate I am "on your side" through my understanding of your case, recognition of your personal order of priorities, and accommodation of your preferred communication style.  In fact, it is my belief that attempting to mediate without employing the aforementioned tactics results in a disingenuous and ineffective experience for all parties.  For the duration of our mediation, the fact that I am "on your side" enables you to get real (dropping some of that adorable posturing you so enjoy), view the pros and cons of continued litigation objectively, be a little creative in discussing possibilities for resolution, and ultimately make that final decision knowing it is aligned with your best interests.  (Of course the terms "you" and "your" may be you, your client, and/or your company.)

Some believe, in order to facilitate an amicable resolution through mediation, the mediator must have a high  "E.Q." (emotional intelligence), or be remarkably intuitive.  Others surmise the mediator must have an extreme level of personal confidence, combined with persuasiveness, to facilitate agreements between people she barely knows, who often possess staunchly opposing views.  I'm not certain if any, or all, of those traits are required.  However, I do know if we aren't communicating effectively I have no chance of facilitating an acceptable resolution to your case - and I do thoroughly enjoy facilitating amicable conclusions! As such, I unwaveringly make it known that I indeed am "on your side" in helping to bring about a mutually agreeable resolution to your case. 

Make no mistake about it. As your mediator, I am on your side - and theirs.
 

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